it is exhausting wanting to be elsewhere and wanting a different lifestyle. to be prettier, more adventurous, smarter, etc. most days it is a constant battle to fight the lies of, "transferring from APU was a mistake. you loved it there. you could have had a better life there." talking with my friends from APU is always bitter-and-sweet. bitter because i desperately want to be near them and have the life i used to have. basically the glossed versions of my time at APU...when things went well, when things were exciting and sunny and beautiful. not when i felt lonely and/or disconnected from the lord, and especially when i felt like i just was searching for more.
so why do i always skip over the victories of my college experience, both at apu and jmu? why do i so quickly forget the moments of "this is a beautifully fruitful and nurturing season in my life." i am not sure why i forget. but i don't want to...so this post goes out to the incredible, both little-and-small, victories of my time in harrisonburg just this week.
-getting two pints of cake batter ice cream from klines last week and not being judged by my housemates.
-giggling with Evi as we chat boys and think it is funny. (humor similar to middle school).
-spending hours with Sara and Lindsay as we did studied together yesterday. I think I am fueled by other people's energy.
-the warm weather today. the fan is blowing in the kitchen and i sure do love the feeling of summer. there is nothing like it and i'm addicted to the feeling.
-simply living in a house with so many awesome women.
-the late night texts Evi and I send as only a wall separates us...silly things like "I am tempted to text him. tell me not to." and then complete forgiveness and no judgment when we gave in and did. whoops!
-the adrenaline rush when i complete a kick-ass paper.
it's all about perspective, right? I know I will truly miss harrisonburg this summer.